Dealing with loss of a loved one is a very sensitive thing. All of us are not strong enough to take that easily. It is hard to accept that someone who mattered to us would never be there. But there are people around us who know that their time is running fast, when I say fast I mean really really fast, ever wondered how do they deal about that? As its said by sages and gurus that each one of us has to leave, some would be leaving earlier than us and some later. But these things are easier said than dealt.
I recently read a book – The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch, this book is one of a kind as the author is about die due to cancer yet he has no complaints with life. He plan out things for his family so that they live comfortably after he passes away. And it taught me various things that I or anyone of us could do when stuck in a similar situation to make the life of our family/loved ones easier after we are no more around to take care of them.I initially felt awkward but then I realized the importance of it. In my personal experience I’ve seen families getting devastated after the loss of father/mother.If ever my doctor told me that I have a very limited time, then what and how am I going to plan things for my family and myself.
Accepting the News:
I can understand it is very heart breaking to swallow that we are left with very less time. We are never prepared for this and how could we be, we are so used to life. But the sooner I would accept the more time is left with me to do the rest of the things.
Sharing the news with Spouse/family:
The most difficult part is to break the news with spouse/family. As none would expect to hear that kind of news. It requires lot of courage to see your loved cry for you. No matter how hard you try, but you would break down to see him/her crying in your arm. And you shouldn’t stop yourself from doing that. Cry peacefully, hug each other and start loving each other all the more.
The first and foremost important thing would be to ensure that my family should not have any problem financially in my absence. I would transfer all my funds to my spouse’s account and would want her to know about my dealings, investments, property, accounts or other assets that she can claim. Also I would ensure that in my absence, my parents don’t feel left alone. So I would take care of them as well. And would like to know if any specific thing would make it easier for them to live without me.
Anyone to Look After:
I would definitely want someone from my family to look after my family in distress. So the best could be shift to a locality or city full of my people or could be near my parent’s house. So that they may stay close with my kids and wife/husband. Also because of the fact that it is very difficult to raise a child especially when without a father/mother.
Keeping the Memories alive:
Take as many as pictures with your family and as many as videos. Try spending the best time together and as much as you can. Preserve the memories to cherish them later. Write letters and lessons for your children in case they are too young. In case they are old enough to understand the situation then make them understand their responsibility once you are gone. Spend good time with them, love them and teach those things to them that otherwise you have taught them later.
I don’t really know what exactly one feels when he knows that he would soon be leaving. But certainly one would feel a lot better when he has confidence that his family would be able to deal with the loss and in his absence they would not face any financial issues. Though there is nothing in this world that could be a substitute for a husband’s love, Father’s concern, Son’s care and a friend’s hug. These things can never be replaced by anything.
So the best way to spend time together is to eat together. Have dinners together and discuss things that could affect them. Pray together for everyone’s good health and life ahead. And of course share and express all the love you have in your heart. Don’t let the death kill you before it kills you. Live the moment to the fullest and have no regrets.
Links you may like to See:
Memorial Website: by Memorialleaf.com. Memorialleaf is an online memorial website for remembering dear ones through a digital memorial.
Remembrance Poems: Dedicate a remembrance poem on Memorialeaf.com.
David Ellis Memorial: A tribute to the director of movie “Snakes on a plane:.