Grieving is a natural thing when someone has lost a family member or a friend. It’s an irreparable loss that was destined to happen. So the question is how we can provide support to someone who is grieving. How can we try making the person look forward to life again? People who are grieving are not in a right frame of mind so we must think twice before saying or doing anything to them,. Our unintentional words or action could break them further. Such people are like open wounds that should be treated with utmost care..
There are some points listed below that might be of some help to you when in such situation:
1. Leave the person alone for some time: This is very important, give the person some time to settle down and accept the loss. Mourning over someone who has left forever is natural and healthy. Hence the person suffering this pain of losing a loved one should be given some space and left alone for a while.. So that he may absorb the reality that has stuck to him… It is true that when God gives some pain.. he also gives us the strength to endure it..
2. Keep noticing: People who are grieving are in a vulnerable state of mind and therefore should be taken special care of… Though doesn’t mean invading to their privacy. But one must keep a note to how they are feeling and if they are showing some signs of improvement and are trying to get back to their life with course of time. In case they are reluctant to get rid of the memories then start noticing closer…
3. Over stretched grieving: The period of grieving to a large extent depends on what relation a person had with the deceased. Normally it takes 2-6 months to recover from a loss substantially. But if the person is showing no sign of improvement. And the grieving doesn’t seem to reduce even over a period of time then it becomes a matter of great concern that we need to handle with utmost care. Overstretched grieving is not a healthy symptom.
4. Talk to the person… Try to be a gauge: In such a situation people who are close should speak to the griever and make him feel comfortable. Death is an uncertain certainty that could stuck to any of us.. Yet we can’t stop living fearing that it could hit us or someone whom we love. Listen to what the person feels and give him the emotional support.. and make him realise that life has to move on no matter what. Give the person a bunch of reasons to get back to life..
5. The grieving does not go.. In case the grieving is still not going then better consult a psychologist. A psychologist is someone who understands the human behaviour and psyche deeply, he could explain better ways to help the griever by getting into his mind and knowing his insecurities.
6. Take the person out.. Take the griever out for a leisure or adventure trip and take along some friends or family along.. Life is bigger than anything… Bring him more closer to life.. Go for scuba diving or rafting.. Some adventure sports… anything that could take of his/her mind off from the loss.. Get him do something that requires physical and mental involvement.. Break away the person from the shackles of mundane life.. Take him away from the people, place or anything that could remind him about the loss.
7. Make the person meet new people: The basic rule of life and water is to flow. The more it flows the fresher it stays.. so in order to keep life fresh we need to meet new people. Know them better.. Socialise often.. and make new friends. This could help in breaking the ice and get the person back to life beaming with fresh energy and renewed spirit.
8. Get the person enrolled to some activity: Knowing the persons likes and dislikes you may find a suitable course nearby and get him enrolled. Give the person a chance to do something that he really enjoyed doing before the loss… It could be a hobby class like cooking; clay pottery making or it could be some dancing class even gym and yoga classes could be wonderful. Anything that could keep him going and make his/her life more meaningful may help the person recover faster. As it’s said an empty mind is devil’s workshop.
9. Avoid talking about the loss: After a substantial time has passed, it is best to avoid the topic of loss. Don’t allow any one to speak to the griever who may bring the sensitive subject back on surface. As it might ruin all your efforts to help the griever and take the griever back to the mournful state.
10. Inculcate positive energies: Try to inculcate some positive energy around the person. It could be through positive talking, reading. Stay humorous.. And jolly when around.. Talk about good stuff.. Play good music.. Dance together.. Get drenched in rain and enjoy the smell of clay.. Get playful.. go for shopping. Buy good dresses…compliment the person.. Make him smile… Make him fall in love with life again.. Make him understand that life is a very beautiful gift of God.. and we must live every moment with passion..
External Resources: Memorialleaf.com